Letter to manufacturer

Dear Manufacturer,
You seem to have faulty merchandise that you're trying to foist off on the public. I'm very upset to find out that this dog cannot hear. Obviously this dog is defective. Worthless. Nobody could want him I'm sure.

Oh sure he's as cute as all the other dogs. Cuter even sometimes. But he can't hear me tell him no. I don't get the head tilt that I'm expecting when I say his name. In fact, what good is it to even name him? He can't hear.

Yeah there are moments that he shows an unbelievable amount of affection. Cuddling up with me and touching me. It seems that he's always touching me. Why? Is it because he can't hear that he's so attuned to touch? He sleeps so close to me. It's unusual and I'm uncomfortable with all this affection. Why can't he just be a "normal" dog?

I think that in light of all these obvious flaws; his sweet loving nature, his need to be touched and near the ones he loves, his overwhelming intelligence -- it's simply best that he just be put down.

Nobody could possibly want a deaf dog.

The preceding is a tongue in cheek, satire.