Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Fetch!

The video speaks for itself.

video

I can't say anything. I'm still laughing too hard. I'm sorry.

*update* I predicted this.

6 comments:

14 Karat said...

That was frackin' hilarious!
I noticed you still gave verbal cues "ready, ready". I always did that with Baloo-Blue, too.
Perfect.

Stew Magoo said...

Yeah, I think it's more for the human (well, obviously...) than the dog. Habits are hard to break.

He's a riot. The guy just cracks me up.

More Moose-avational posters please!

brendalove@gmail.com said...

the carpet, however, is not amused at all....

Dermott said...

Yo Moose. You throw the ball, he fetches it. That's the natural order of things. Got it?

Stew Magoo said...

Dear Mr. Dermott Boof,
I am hoping that this note finds you well. I read your advice and can only wonder at the amount of experience you have dealing with these two legged furless Sheepies.

Please help me understand how to throw the ball as I lack opposable thumbs. I need your help Obi Wan, you're my only hope~

Dermott said...

Yo Moose. Glad to be able to help out another Boofhead, particularly one just starting out, as you are.

First, I observe that you've already mastered "cute". Good stuff. Two-legged dogs are suckers for cute. Cute is the ticket to forgiveness for almost anything. As in, I'm forbidden to get up on the couch. I do anyway. And I go into cute mode - on my back, boofy over-sized legs bicycling in the air, that sort of stuff. They walk in, see me on the couch, and drool: "Oh, isn't he cute?". Boofheads 1; Two-Legged Dogs 0.

Or I set up an email phishing scam. "Oh, isn't he cute? And so rich!".

But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. You've mastered cute. You have a long, happy, utterly self-indulgent life ahead of you, free to do anything you like, when you like, regardless.

Now as to opposable thumbs.

I know where you're at. I have walked in your boofy shoes, I have felt your boofy pain.

I mean, typing by holding a stick in your mouth and poking at keys on the keyboard sucks. Big time. So does picking the splinters out of your boofy gums.

Solution? Simple. Grow opposable thumbs.

Cupping one oversized boofy paw to one oversized boofy ear, I hear you ask, "How, Obi Boofhead? How?".

Okay, I won't go into the science of evolution 'cause it will boggle your young boofy brain. But it boils down to this: anything essential to your survival will develop, anything redundant and/or surplus to your needs will gradually disappear.

Which is why cats will eventually disappear.

But I digress. Here's the bottom line. You need to create a situation in which opposable thumbs are essential to your survival. Hence they will develop.

A mo' di esempio. (That's Italian for "by way of example". See? I'm throwing in Italian lessons gratis) Anyways, take hitchhiking. It needs a thumb. Two are even better because you can switch legs when one gets tired from all that thumbing.

Pick a very distant location. Say, in your case, Montreal. Find a reason why you really really really need to get there. If such a thing exists relative to Montreal.

Now get out on the road. Wave one of your boofy legs at cars as they pass. Odds are, a couple will crash, the drivers distracted by the sight of a Boofhead hitchhiking.

Hitchhike long enough and you will grow a thumb because a thumb will be essential to your reaching Montreal.

And don't forget to alternate boofy legs in order to develop the other thumb.

Once in Montreal, email - using your opposable thumbs - the two-legged dog to come and get you.

Jeez, Moose, a science lesson and an Italian lesson all in one post.

You owe me big time, champ.

PS. Moose, the word verification thingy I now have to type - with my opposable thumbs - is longer than War and Peace.